I don't know how to not be real

I don't know how.  I don't know how to turn off my emotions.  I don't know how to be less transparent.  I wish I did. I wish that I could get my feelings hurt and have a rational reaction.  I wish I could be less transparent. I don't know how.  What you see is what you get.  I have been trying to practice controlling it, and not letting people see what I'm thinking sprawled across my face.  The more I try that, the more I get confronted by people wanting to know what I'm thinking.  This leads to embarrassing moments of erupting emotions at the worst possible time, in the worst possible place, and usually with plenty of witnesses.  

I think I have become much better at this, however, I struggle with the idea of being fake. I want to be real. I don't want to mask my feelings or emotions and appear phony. But, should I? People don't like it when you're too real, too transparent. Some people aren't trustworthy enough to share that with, and honestly, some people just don't care. Which is fine. Sometimes, I don't care.

I want to be able to be real with people, and talk about things that really matter. I don't want to waste time playing games and expecting people to figure me out and me trying to figure them out. We only get one life. I don't want to waste my time with stuff like that. I guess there's a fine line there somewhere that I just need to find and walk.