Forgiveness

I wrote this back in October and never posted it. So, here it is...I think it's a good way to start the New Year.

I tell people all the time, that God forgives everyone. That we, as believers who have given our lives to the Father, and asked for His forgiveness

We should not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
(Philippians 4:6-7)

If we delight in the Lord, he will give us the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

If we ask for forgiveness, we are truly forgiven. He does not see our sin, we have been washed clean. I tell other people that their sins are forgiven, and that God will bless their lives and provide for their needs, and comfort them, and answer their prayers, and hold their lives in His hands in such a way that no harm will come to them...but I never believed it for me. I thought, God loves all those other people more than me. They haven't done the things I've done. They deserve to be forgiven. It wasn't until recently, that I realized...I was calling God a liar. Did He not say, come to me and I will forgive you? Why, even though I thank Him everyday for forgiving me, did I think that He would not then treat me as if I was forgiven? Do you forgive your friend, and then treat them poorly, or do you love them and treat them as your friend? If I can forgive others, certainly God can do a better job than me. Certainly He wants to love me and knows I'm sorry, and will treat me like His child. Sure, I'll slip up and have to ask for forgivness time and time again, but I am His child. Why would he bless the rest of His children and not me? It's pretty dumb, now that I think about it. I need to forgive myself and quit looking backwards. All that does is leave me standing in the road facing the wrong way. I need to turn around, face forward and start walking with Him. Imagine what can be up ahead!

Somebody has said there are only two kinds of people in the world. There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning."

I don’t know that I agree with this statement in its entirety. Some mornings I say, “Good morning, Lord.” I feel great, and I’m ready to attack the day with fervor and passion. Other days, I am beat down by the wear and tear of the daily grind. I feel worn and ineffective. These days I say, “Good Lord, it’s morning?!? Can’t I just sleep a little longer?” I often feel guilty about that, especially when I see quotes like these. I enjoy reading quotes, and welcome their words of wisdom and inspiration. However, I resent their need to make me feel inferior, or as if I’m doing something wrong. I work hard, as many women my age do. Occasionally, we’re going to get tired. The victory comes when we’re still looking to the Lord to get us through the day. So, on days when you say, “Good Lord, it’s morning,” focus on the fact that you turned to our Father for a little help and guidance, and don’t beat yourself up for it. Focus on Him and He’ll pull us through all of our trials and tribulations…and don’t be shocked if He teaches you a thing or two along the way. J

God is faithful

I sit here tonight thinking about what the future holds for me.  I am a teacher.  I have taught for eight years.  I have a Master's Degree in Reading, and hold 2 credentials.  I am taking a class and studying for a test to get yet another credential in hopes that it will help me find a job.  Yes,  a job.  I was laid off due to budget constraints.  I have no idea where to go from here.  I have officially received my last paycheck, and I have a savings account to get me through the summer. Come September, I will not have health insurance or an income of any kind.  I must remember now more than ever that God is faithful.  He has always been, and He will always be. 

Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Philippians 4:4-7 (New International Version)

 ⁴Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:19 (New International Version)

¹⁹And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 6:25-34 (New International Version)

Do Not Worry

 ²⁵"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? ²⁶Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life^{a]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[a]}?

 ²⁸"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? ³¹So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ³²For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I will hold onto these words of truth tightly over the next few months.  I have no idea what God will do, but I must be faithful and believe that He will do something.  I am a bit excited about this, because I am in a perfect place for God to do ANYTHING.  Not that He couldn't anyway, but I'm wide open.  I just pray that my faith remains steady and firm. :)  

Thank you Jesus for all that you have done in my life, and for all that you will do.  I love you, and I couldn't do any of this without you. :)

I don't know how to not be real

I don't know how.  I don't know how to turn off my emotions.  I don't know how to be less transparent.  I wish I did. I wish that I could get my feelings hurt and have a rational reaction.  I wish I could be less transparent. I don't know how.  What you see is what you get.  I have been trying to practice controlling it, and not letting people see what I'm thinking sprawled across my face.  The more I try that, the more I get confronted by people wanting to know what I'm thinking.  This leads to embarrassing moments of erupting emotions at the worst possible time, in the worst possible place, and usually with plenty of witnesses.  

I think I have become much better at this, however, I struggle with the idea of being fake. I want to be real. I don't want to mask my feelings or emotions and appear phony. But, should I? People don't like it when you're too real, too transparent. Some people aren't trustworthy enough to share that with, and honestly, some people just don't care. Which is fine. Sometimes, I don't care.

I want to be able to be real with people, and talk about things that really matter. I don't want to waste time playing games and expecting people to figure me out and me trying to figure them out. We only get one life. I don't want to waste my time with stuff like that. I guess there's a fine line there somewhere that I just need to find and walk.