note to self: apply brakes often

I learned a lot in the past couple of years. I mean, I always knew this, but I've really seen the value in this particular lesson: Apply the brakes often. Stop and check and see if what you are doing is aligned with your long term goals. If it's not, stop! Sounds simple, right? Yeah, I wish it was that easy too. Sometimes it's really hard to stop. Once you've started something, there are other people involved, so stopping often involves letting someone else down, or even hurting them. I find that very difficult to do, so sometimes I end up doing things that I don't want to do...

or let's be frank.

I often end up spending far too much time with the wrong guys because I don't want to hurt them. They're usually really nice guys too, which leaves me feeling shallow, or mean...but I can't force myself to feel something I don't. This has made dating really hard for me. I often just push guys away before I really get to know them because I'm afraid of getting in too deep and not being able to say something when it's not working out. Are there classes for that? HAHA! That's really something we should teach in Jr. High...

This applies at work too. I often get wrapped up in projects that I really don't care about, or have little experience in...but I don't want to look "stupid" or look like I'm not a "team player," so I do it. I kill myself doing it because it takes far more effort to do things you know or care little about and do them well. Since I certainly don't want to appear as if I don't know what I'm doing, I work my butt off to get it done. In the meantime, the things I'd really like to be doing, and can do well, take a back burner, and end up not coming out as great as I'd envisioned them.

So...apply

brakes

often.

Next, learn how to say no! :)