Tuesday, February 16, 2010

What happened to our leaders?

I've decided why Edward Cullen is so attractive to so many women. I think it's because he's always the one forcing Bella to do the right thing. He watches out for her moral center, her honor, her well being: emotionally, physically, mentally, etc. He weights out the pros and cons, and determines the best course of action. He doesn't act on raw emotion, but rather considers the consequences of his actions. That's the way it was meant to be. The man as the leader. I think we (women) innately want that. We want the man to be in control, to be able to trust him in the decisions he makes. He should be the one guiding us and protecting us. Edward protects Bella physically, but he also works to protect her honor, her feelings, all of her. We've lost this in our society. Women have become the ones who have to say no, stop, it's too far, too much...why? What has happened to the men? It isn't our job, yet we've been forced into that role. We're not effective here...We have a different role to fulfill, and we're taking on too much. I don't want a man I constantly have to say no to. I want him to say no. I want him to be in charge of what's wrong and what's right. I want to trust him with all of me. That's how it is meant to be.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

disappointed

I am very disappointed in my behavior lately: letting myself jump into things without thinking; letting my mouth run without a filter; allowing "little" things to slide, and then they end up creating big problems. This isn't the me I want to be. This isn't the girl I want people to think of when they think of me. I have not been presenting myself well. The bummer part is, I've been presenting this girl to new people in my life. My old friends would say, "Hey, what's up with you?" But, these new friends don't know better. They think I AM this girl. I have some damage control to do...

I'm going to start now. I'm going to pick up the book I was reading, leave the TV off, do some reflection, and spend time with the One who can change me, mold me, and make me new. :) The One who won't judge me for being a moron. The One who will love me still. The One who will forgive me for acting like a fool. :) I <3 Him.