And it continues

Well, the cheating continued on the weekend.  I had a few beverages while watching the game and at a birthday party.  I also had 2 slices of pizza.  It was delicious, but so not worth it.  I only lost 1lb this week.  Nope.  Not. Worth. It.


So,
I'm back on program.  I'm taking MMA 2x a week and hoping to find the funds to increase that to 3x a week.  I'm really enjoying it.

Keep me in your thoughts and prayers!

Cheater Cheater

Well...Day 18 didn't go so well

I ate a piece of pizza, some salad, and a bit of a breadstick...:(

Been kicking myself all day, but that's not going to get me back on track. So, I'm giving myself permission to forgive myself for a moment of weakness.

For what it's worth.  That pizza was GOOD!

Healthy Eating!

Day 18

I am so amazed how supportive people have been.  I've tried to lose weight a million times before each time failing because I give in to the food that comes with socializing.  This time around, people are going out of their way to help me succeed.  I don't know if it's because I've managed to make it to a "scary" weight, because I'm going through a medically supervised program, or what...but I'm very appreciative.  I hope it continues.  ;)  Thanks everyone! :)


I'm about to leave for a friends house to play cards...

There will be pizza and adult beverages.  I've made some fruit infused water and will be bringing my Optifast along...pray for a sista!

Healthy eating!

I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!
I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!




I won't...it's not worth it....BUT

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! 

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! 

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! 

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! 

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! 

I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat! I want to eat!

sigh...

Rewards that don't involve food...

Well, 2 weeks down.

I lost another 3.7.  Inches moved around but still 10.5" lost.
                              Not what I was hoping for...but it's a loss.

As for my goals, I completed 3/4.  I didn't go to a class on Friday, but I was home sick. I think I get a pass on that one.

This week we are supposed to set up a reward system for our goals.  They are not to be negative or punitive for not completing them.  They are to occur as close to the new behavior as possible, so they need to be inexpensive and plentiful.  I'm having some difficulty coming up with the short term rewards.  I have some of the long term in mind, but what am I gonna do every time I drink water, or workout??? I'm also wondering if I should give up the marble jar that shows me how much weight I've lost and change it to some sort of reward system.  They really don't want us to focus on the # on the scale as our motivation.  They want us to learn new behaviors that will last once we've lost the weight.

So...I've got my reward for completing the program, and for intervals throughout, but anyone have ideas for the day to day? Several times a day???  I used to reward myself with eating out and a beverage or several...ideas appreciated! :)

Week 2: Goal Setting

We were asked to write SMART goals this week.  So here are my goals:


1. This week, I will walk Lilly for 10 minutes on Tuesdays at 5, Thursdays at 5, and Saturdays first thing in the morning.

2. This week, I will drink at least 64 oz of water 7 days a week.

3. This week, I will attend MMA class on Monday from 8-9 and Wednesday from 7-8.

4. This week, on Friday, I will attend either a ZUMBA class OR OC Singles for Christ.
I think this one will be the hardest.  Going places by myself...not so comfy :)


Stats: Lost 7.3lbs and 10.5 inches over all.

Unfortunately...2" in the rack...How do you keep that from happening??? Seriously. I'm not kidding.

Weightloss Journey: Week 1

I finished week 1 of my weight loss journey on Optifast. I had a pretty good week.  I was supposed to go to a baby shower 4 days in, and I decided not to go.  I became a bit depressed thinking that I'd forever have to miss social events because I can't trust myself around food.  Thankfully, I was more upset about missing out on time with my friends than missing out on amazing Greek food, but I'd be lying if I said that didn't have a small part to play in my mood.  I comforted myself in knowing this plan is 16 weeks (if I only do one round); it's not forever.  I'll be able to eat real food again.  But, what will that be like?  How do people of a healthy weight eat every day? What do they do when they splurge? How often do they splurge? I really don't know the answers to any of these questions.   I'm ready to learn and I'm ready to change.  I need to change.  Why does food make me happy?  Why does lack of food make me sad?  These are questions I need to answer if I'm ever going to have a healthy relationship with food.  I had a rough day with hunger one day this week, but otherwise I didn't feel hungry.  Satisfied however, was a totally different story.  I wanted Parmesan Cheez-its more than I wanted air!  It was bad.  I still want them. I am not quitting though, I'm not letting this beat me this time.  I will do this.  I will be healthy.  I will feel good about myself again.

My Weight Loss Journey

It's been a while since I've written, but I think it's time to start again.  I have been working hard to lose weight, only to continue to gain.  I was working out like a fiend and had discouraging results.  I was doing boot camp classes and Zumba at the same time, while counting calories, and nothing was working. So, I've gone extreme.  I went to my doctor thinking I'd like to do the juice fast from "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" (a fabulous documentary everyone should watch) and my doctor sent me to a nutrition class instead.  At the class I learned that my insurance covered Optifast: an 800 calorie diet plan that lasts 12 weeks then transitions for 4 back to regular food.  I'm on day 3 and found myself crying for no reason.  I was feeling lonely, like this plan had cut me off from my social life.  I'm skipping a baby shower tomorrow because I know I'm not ready to face that kind of temptation.  All of my friends will be there, but I'll be home...probably babysitting.  I'm not complaining, it's my own fault.  I'm the one who let it get this far.  I stress eat.  I've been depressed for a long time and have anxiety as well (which I'm being treated for), and the weight just kept coming on and I didn't fight hard enough.  Now I'm paying the price.  I have 110 lbs to lose AT LEAST, and I just can't wrap my head around that.  I don't feel that big.  I see pictures though...and boy does that set me straight.  So, I'm going to blog about my weight loss journey: the good, the bad, and the oh so ugly.  I hope it will inspire someone to get healthy themselves.

At my first session with Optifast they asked us to journal about how we see ourselves at the end of the 12 weeks, not just physically, but the whole package.

I see...

A girl who can tie her shoes
A girl who can walk without wheezing
A girl who can bend over without wheezing
A girl who's not a slave to her cravings
A girl who's learned self control
A girl who will take much better care of herself
A girl who inspires others to take that first step
A girl who's learned that slip ups aren't failures, they're part of being human, and they certainly aren't an            
            excuse to go off the reservation and eat everything in sight
A girl who understands the difference between everyday food and sometimes food
A girl who can manage the sometimes foods in a way that allows for her social life to continue to
             flourish while still maintaining a healthy weight
A girl who's learned how strong she really is
A girl who's met a goal
A girl who can shop at any store, not just the ones for "people of size"
A girl who is confident
A girl who is ready to meet that special someone (however, I may do 2 rounds, so dating might be
              awkward until I finish that)
A girl who doesn't hate herself anymore
A girl who can be a better mom to her pup because she'll be able to run and play
A girl who has energy to do things

Sounds like a lot, but I'm in this for the long haul. This isn't a quick fix for me, it's a part of changing my behavior.

The Dreaded BEFORES- Say bye bye!